Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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