hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
