Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
