it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
