guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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