you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
