either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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