I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
