Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
