I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
