Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
