I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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