Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
