First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize