No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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