Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
