i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
