Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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