Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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