Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
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I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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