Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
