Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
