i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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