Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My cat gives me a boner
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize