I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
