I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
