he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
