I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize