remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
