I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
