how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
