Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
