can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
