I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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