I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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