Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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