Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
