Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
