Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
