we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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