I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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