You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
