In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
