So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
