Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
