You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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