Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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