OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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