you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
