Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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