Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
