it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
