guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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