You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
