My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
