My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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