Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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