woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
