Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize