Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I cut my penus on the lid.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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