Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
