Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i came on her dog
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize