I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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