Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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